we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize