Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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