you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
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