hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
