Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize