laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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