I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
