At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
