Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
