oh god the rape fog is back!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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