dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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