Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
