How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i will never coherently bang her
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I believe in your delicious
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
