Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
a search helicopter?!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
