and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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