No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
