Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
