His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
