carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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