it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We had to coat check the pizza.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
don't judge my taste in strippers
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
