I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
