Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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