When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
