something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
