Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize