So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
