Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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