If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
