Christians are straight up FREAKS
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
