"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
What a dumb baby whore.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
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