there was a trapeze. enough said
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize