I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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