I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
