And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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