I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
