You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
