i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I look better un-naked...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
