weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
