this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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