Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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