So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
