No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
