the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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