Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize