At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
