**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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