walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
