omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
