I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
