let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
