I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
