I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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