i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
