i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
