i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize