You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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