anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize