Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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