look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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