Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
