I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
