escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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