He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize