A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
