I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
