In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
