some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize