then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
