Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
