when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
